So, I'm extremely late to the bandwagon, but I finally have an AO3 account. You can find me under Rossi, which I was pleased to find still available. There's only one fic there atm, but eventually I'll have all of my stuff up, safely stored in one place*.
*at least until this archive disappears like many before them.
- Archive of Our Own
deathpixie- 5th February 2016
- Answer for question 4452.
- deathpixie
- 14th July 2015
The "Ballarat Cup". I didn't actually realise this was particular to our family until I reached university. A Ballarat Cup is a cup of tea (or other drinkable liquid in a cup or a glass), which is only three-quarters full. So, if someone offered you a drink of some kind, and didn't fill it to a reasonably accepted level, you'd accuse them of giving you a "Ballarat Cup".What's a word or phrase you use all the time that no one else seems to? Where did you learn or pick up this word/phrase?
The origins of this particular family saying are from a story my grandfather used to tell, of going to visit a certain aunt who lived in Ballarat and who was known for always being stingy with the teapot. After a while, the family got used to calling a short-poured glass/cup a Ballarat Cup, and the saying stuck. It wasn't until I used it to a uni friend in Melbourne that I realised it wasn't a common saying at all, but one restricted to my mother's side of the family.
- The Signs as Dragons
- deathpixie
- 9th June 2015
I don't have a Tumblr of my own (yet), so I'm posting this here. Taken from this post.
Taurus: Pale yellow dragon. Herbivore, but will not hesitate to kill an evil human. They are the primary protector of women and children. Can be the size of a Golden Retriever, are useful in the household and are peaceful. Breathes a universal medicine that smells like lemons and loves people and shiny objects.
Sounds about right? ;)
- Lessons Learned
- deathpixie
- 4th June 2015
lonely
Every time I take a break from X-Project, this happens. You'd think I'd realise that by now. But yeah. Dead email, except for the ELOD and Sam. Good to know I'm only worth talking to when I can do something for you.
- Answer for question 4246.
- deathpixie
- 20th February 2015
I used to think I was a good judge of character, but unfortunately experience has proven otherwise. I still do put my faith in the goodness of people - I can't operate in this world otherwise - but I've taken some knocks, I have to admit.Are you generally a good judge of character? What's a time you felt you had a good sense of someone, only to have it turn out you were completely wrong?
The last time I was completely wrong, I have the small consolation in knowing I wasn't the only one fooled. A good friend turned out to have been deceiving and using me (as well as all of his other friends), for a period of years. It was a gut punch, knowing that my faith had been so badly placed, and that everything I'd done and said for this person was disregarded and, what is worse, they were probably laughing at my gullibility. It's been a long time trying to learn to trust my judgement again, but I have to keep reminding myself, there's plenty of good people out there.
- (no subject)
- deathpixie
- 2nd October 2014
No matter how tired or meh I am, I always take joy in the achievements/happy times of my friends. Well done, all of you, no matter how small that achievement or how silly the reason for the happiness might seem to you. Your happiness makes me smile.
- Dexcon veterans
- deathpixie
- 11th July 2014
Anyone got a decent pic of me with the short hair? I need an electronic copy of same and all of my photographs are in a box. In my brother's shed. In Australia.
TIA!
- Ugh
- deathpixie
- 8th May 2014
So, half-way through the timeline for the move, where my area of responsibility gets transferred to another ministry and I get left behind to be and office lackey and odd-job girl. I'm exhausted, since not only do I have my regular job to do, but I'm also collating, inventorying, packing and generating lists, all on my own. It's a great time, I can tell you. By late afternoon my brain shuts down and I lose all ability to nuance. I've been hopeless with responding to things, and even trying to think of something to do for my birthday this weekend was too hard - I went with baseball, because it's a fun afternoon out without too many social demands.
I'll be so glad when this is done. Except then I'll have nothing to do and no reason to be there. With a government cutting everything back down to the bone. Yay. And you all know how much I love being superfluous.
Any way. Leeway is good if I say something dumb. I barely know my own name atm. And I'm off to have a bath, where it doesn't matter what my name is.
Edit: Definitely going for that bath. Just got news that Dad's knee surgery didn't go as smoothly as it should have and he's still in recovery for another night after not getting enough oxygen while he was out. Going offline so I don't get my worry all over everyone.
- Bombshell
- deathpixie
- 12th February 2014
- sad
So, work just announced that our prosecutions division - the area that I've been the legal assistant for for the past seven-ish years - is going to merge with the prosecutions division of the Ministry of Labour. The prosecutors will be relocating to the MoL office.
I won't be going with them.
They're keeping me here. Despite seven plus years of experience in doing the job, in spite of the effort I've put into making sure everything runs smoothly. Despite the fact I enjoy the job and put my heart into it. Despite the fact there's not actually enough work with the solicitors for three of us, if H's reading for half the day is anything to go by.
I guess you don't actually realise how much you love something and appreciate stability until it's gone. I've got relationships with all of my prosecutors - I call them my boys as shorthand - and I have to say goodbye to them, all at once. Come May, they'll be out of the office and in another building and I'll be facing an uncertain future as S.'s lackey, by the looks.
Thank god I'll hopefully be qualified as a paralegal by September, so I have options. This is so not how I wanted things to go. :(
- Warning - Venting Ahead
- deathpixie
- 4th February 2014
I have to get this out before I explode, so it's back to ye olde Live Journal. Duck and cover, folks.
As part of my paralegal course and required qualifications, I need to do 120 hours of internship (unpaid) in the area. Back in March 2013, when I started school, I spoke to my manager here at work about the possibility of doing it in the office. I also spoke to my careers person at the school and gave them each other's contact number so they could start sorting things out. I knew, since I work for the government, there'd be red tape.
Today, after weeks of being on tenterhooks, I find out that the only way I was ever going to be able to intern at a government ministry was if HR approached the school and arranged a program. No established program, no internship.
Now, perhaps I'm being a bit unreasonable, but isn't that something my manager should have checked before all of this? If there was never a possibility of me doing it here, then I could have used that information months ago and worked things out! But no. Because my manager didn't do her due diligence (or give me the information to be able to do it myself, like a contact at HR), I'm looking at finding an internship at the last minute. And to top it off, I'll have to take all of my three weeks of vacation, plus a week unpaid, to be able to go and do the internship if I can't find one that'll let me do it weekends/after business hours.
Son of a bitch. I am so pissed off right now, I can't even begin to describe it. I've been royally screwed over by both work and the school, and I'm going to find people to complain to, you can guarantee it.
Additional:
Just got an email from the guy I'm supposed to be meeting. CC-ing completely the wrong Herzing email, to some guy called James Howard. And careers guy has no idea of any of the previous stuff. So much for information being passed on. Here's the last paragraph of my response:
Finally, I am very unhappy with how the internship arrangements have been handled. I met with M and provided her with my manager's contact details as far back as May, 2013, explaining the situation and what I hoped to do and Margaret said she would be in touch. Apparently, my manager did not receive any type of communication directly from M, and it wasn't until November 2013 that I received the standard email regarding the PD 150 course (that's the careers module) and my resume from her, with no recollection of our previous meeting. My manager, because she had no information, did not approach HR until November (I'm not happy with her either!) and now, despite my best efforts, everything is a last minute scramble which is causing me a lot of stress.
- Bodies are weird
- deathpixie
- 3rd February 2014
Acting on a hunch, I started taking my B12 supplements again, even though I'm not vegetarian any more. Imagine my surprise when I realised today that I'm not dead tired, starving despite eating and not in as crappy a mood as I've been in. In fact, I was quite hyper and cheerful earlier, something I remember from the first time I went on the supplement.
So, despite the fact I am eating meat again and it's been a good six years (possibly more) since I stopped with the vegetarianism, my body still has issues with B12, especially during stress.
Stupid body. But at least it helps with the depression and I don't need to change my meds again. That would have sucked. I'll have to try and squeeze more Vegemite into my daily diet again as well as the supplement (I have plenty, care of my darling daddy, but I need to make toast more regularly to put it on!).
- The last part of the hill is the steepest...
- deathpixie
- 31st January 2014
So, I'm down to two months left of school (and then 4 weeks of fieldwork) and I'm starting to really struggle. My marks are fine - better than, mostly - but I'm really having trouble with the work/school balance, especially since during the hardest module (criminal law), work decided to go kablooey. We've got trials all over the place, and we're losing one of our prosecutors to a transfer - and as far as we know, he's not being replaced - and the dreaded Cash Store cash has raised its head, Hydra-like, so we're looking at another prosecutor only being half available. So, basically, from four lawyers to 2 and a half, and it's falling to me to make sure everything's covered and to all the necessary prep work for file transfers, on top of what I already have. And since the orders are coming from the Legal Director himself, they're top priority.
If only I could get everyone else needing my time to understand that. *wry*
Anyway, criminal law finished last night, barring the second assignment I have due on Tuesday evening and which I'll be writing like a mad thing this weekend. Luckily, it's been writing itself in my head already, so I have an idea of where to start.
My fieldwork placement is still majorly up in the air, which is distressing for She Who Organises - and none of it is fixable by me. I've done what I can - spoken to the LD and to the union rep, so there's no issues there - just need to wait for my manager to get back on vacation on Monday.
And now I have dictation, so off I go. I'll be so glad for the Family Day holiday on February 17!
- Grr.
- deathpixie
- 20th November 2013
So after much back and forth, I finally arranged for the careers person at school, who I'm supposed to discuss my internship with, to call me at work. She emailed and said she'd call sometime today. Today being, actually today, you know, Wednesday. So I've been sticking close to my desk all day.
Guess what?
No call. No message, if I did actually miss the call. No email telling me why she hasn't been able to call.
Grrr, argh. I need to sort this out soon, and this is the person who is supposed to be giving me pointers on how to improve my career. You know what helps a person's career? BEING RELIABLE AND DOING WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO, OR LETTING THE PERSON KNOW IF YOU CAN'T!!!
I HATE being stood up like this. Come 5:00 p.m., I'm sending an email along the lines of "Uh, wtf?" Only polite.
It also doesn't help that I have a 30 minute powerpoint presentation today that I've been trying to polish, only to have all of the interruptions in the world. (Seriously, co-workers, learn how to do basic formatting. If you want to change the lines around boxes in Excel, it's easy.)
- Activity Meme
- deathpixie
- 23rd October 2013
No time to do NaNoWriMo (or
nano_wrimo) this year, but I'd like to try and get back to posting regularly. So, a 30 days meme, grabbed from jeffreyab, to commence November 1.
Stayed tuned!
Day 1 - your current relationship
Day 2 - where you’d like to be in 10 years
day 3 - your views on drugs and alcohol.
day 4 - your views on religion.
day 5 - a time you thought about ending your own life.
day 6 - write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
day 7 - your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
day 8 - a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
day 9 - how you hope your future will be like.
day 10 - discuss your first love and first kiss.
day 11 - put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
day 12 - bullet your whole day.
day 13 - somewhere you’d like to move or visit.</s>
day 14 - your earliest memory.
day 15 - your favourite tumblrs.
day 16 - your views on mainstream music.
day 17 - your highs and lows of this past year.
day 18 - your beliefs.
day 19 - disrespecting your parents.
day 20 - how important you think education is.
day 21 - one of your favourite shows.
day 22 - how have you changed in the past 2 years?
day 23 - give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.
day 24 - your favourite movie and what it’s about.
day 25 - someone who fascinates you and why.
day 26 - what kind of person attracts you.
day 27 - a problem that you have had.
day 28 - something that you miss.
day 29 - goals for the next 30 days.
day 30 - your highs and lows of this month
- Half Way Point
- deathpixie
- 10th October 2013
So, I'm just over half-way through my paralegal course, and still going strong. Tired most of the time, but strong. *wry* We're ploughing through Small Claims Court (Civil, for the Aussies) and it's pretty much the same structure as I learned in the court job, just different terminology. Oh, and representing clients instead of swearing them in. But yeah, still chugging along.
I am finding I have very little free time. Classes have been finishing later than before, usually 9:30/10 pm, sometimes later, and then it takes me an hour to get home. So I usually only have about half an hour of downtime before I go to bed - I tend to toss and turn too much if I go straight to bed, planning my next day. It's kind of isolating, but to be honest, I'm too tired to even feel that lonely. I only see my roomies on the weekends or when they pop down. I kind of wish I had someone to fix me my evening snack and perhaps rub my shoulders, but I make do with microwaving leftovers (dexfarkin has been awesome about stocking my fridge with tupperware) and having cats walk all over me and snuggle into my lower back when I go to bed.
Oh, and the Law Society website has the sign ups for the qualification exam! I'll probably do my electronic version on Monday, which is Canadian Thanksgiving public holiday and which I'm planning as my "relax and recharge after various social things" day.
- Signal Boost - Contrary to rumour...
- deathpixie
- 9th October 2013
...LJ is not blocking posts with gay content. The person who first complained is a well-known anti-LJ and anti-Russia troll type with a grudge. Please spread the word, since no doubt the panic mongers are already gathering...
Originally posted bycopperbadge at postHAHA, it took less than six hours for LJ to find that last post I made and make a statement. Thumbs up on their ability to quash bad PR, given when I was hacked it took 24 hours just to get a response from them.
You can read their comment here for more info, but essentially the report is bunk, at least according to LJ. I stand behind the other 99% of my post, which was less about how awful LJ is and more about how to keep your head, back up your data, and if desired move to a site where we don't automatically, because of their past behaviour, jump to the conclusion that they're evil. :D
Thanks to everyone who commented with info, too. More knowledge is always better than less, except when it leads to nuclear arms races and five different Hulks.
- Brief Agents of SHIELD squee
- deathpixie
- 25th September 2013
giggly
I had school last night so I couldn't watch it live, but thankfully it got DVRed (twice, actually, which was kind of funny. I deleted the non HD one). The Residential Tenancies module has a tendency to run to almost the full four hours, so I got home around 10:30 p.m., kind of wiped. Cleaned the kitty litter, took out the recycling bin, then settled down to watch my moment ofnerdinessawesome.
And awesome it was. :) :) :)
No spoilers, since I have friends who haven't had a chance to get to it yet, but man, Joss is back, in great form and I really like where this is going already. :)
- Roll on menopause...
- deathpixie
- 22nd August 2013
Some days I get so fed up with demands - other people's, my own, whatever - that all I want to do is run off for a month or so and just disappear on some island somewhere.
Then I remind myself that I couldn't handle my own company that long and go crazy with loneliness.
Bah.
I am okay, really. Just tired and, despite reassurances from the doctor that increasing my medication would take care of it, in the middle of the usual epic PMS mood swings. So, it's time to take my own advice and go get some Evening Primrose Oil to see if I can't operate like a normal human being instead of tipping between gloomy and depressed and cranky and psychotic for three days a month. At least I finally remembered to ask the doctor about potential interactions with the anti-depressants last time I saw her.
It's so frustrating, being such a hostage to your hormones. I mean, I can handle the cramps and the backache and the ick, but I hate feeling like a total crazy person with no ability to react rationally. No wonder men think women are emotional and high-strung - we bloody fulfill the stereotype once a month, even when we don't want to.
Bah. Again.
- Taking a moment to be totally gloaty and boastful...
- deathpixie
- 16th July 2013
Just got the results back for the first six modules of my paralegal class. Straight As, and a GPA of 4.00.
I feel rather clever. *beams* Makes the long days and the reduced free time completely worth it.
- A hard rain is going to fall
- deathpixie
- 9th July 2013
Or rather, it already did. Those watching the news last night might have got wind of a mega storm that hit Toronto yesterday, flooding various areas and cutting power. Luckily, Windermere Manor is fine (although we did lose power last night for a few hours), and while I had something of an epic trip, I did make it home safe and soggy after school last night.
More rain predicted today. It's like tropical Queensland here, seriously. Rainy and warm.
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1232201/thumbs/s-TORONTO-STORM-large.jpg?16
- Mack's been at it again!
- deathpixie
- 29th May 2013
Originally posted byx_advertising at Mack's been at it again!X-Project crackvid, by mackinzie.
Rules | Application | Available Characters | Game Wiki | Read The Game | FAQ|Contact Us | Follow Us on Twitter! | YouTube Channel | Tumblr
- School
- deathpixie
- 22nd May 2013
Results so far:
Legal Computer Applications - 100%
Introduction to the Legal System - 98%
Communication/Writing - 100%
Module 4 is Legal Research/Writing, and since I handed in my assignment on time, I'm pretty sure I'll get another 100% or so. Which means I'm on track for the Dean's List.
/bragging
- Right in the feels
- deathpixie
- 9th May 2013
Like a lot of my friends, I'm a fan of a webcomic/blog called Hyperbole and a Half by a woman called Allie Brosh. She's been pretty quiet for a while now (about a year and a half, in fact) and today she posted the reason why in this post.
You ever have a moment when you read something and realise it's like reading the inside of your brain? Allie's experience with depression - and especially her suicidal feelings - were scarily close to mine. It hurts, reading it, but it also helps, since here is someone who is able to explain what I've never been able to.
I still feel guilty about being depressed. Because I know what a burden I was to my friends and I know how frustrating it was for them to watch me sink deeper and deeper into hopelessness. I know, because I've been in the reverse position myself, with my ex. You'd think it would have helped when it was my turn, but it really didn't, and now I'm reluctant to talk about the depression with most but a very few people. I feel like I've leeched all the understanding and compassion I deserve, when people were trying to fill the great black hole of nothing that was the depression at its worst:
And that's the most frustrating thing about depression. It isn't always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn't even something — it's nothing. And you can't combat nothing. You can't fill it up. You can't cover it. It's just there, pulling the meaning out of everything. That being the case, all the hopeful, proactive solutions start to sound completely insane in contrast to the scope of the problem.
I'm sorry I couldn't respond to help, that I couldn't talk out what was bothering me and feel better. I did talk stuff out - over and over - but all it did was make me feel worse because isn't talking meant to make you feel better, and all it did for me was highlight just how depressed and hopeless I was. And eventually, I got to the place Allie describes frighteningly well:
...I somehow managed to convince myself that everything was still under my control right up until I noticed myself wishing that nothing loved me so I wouldn't feel obligated to keep existing... there I was, casually wishing that I could stop existing in the same way you'd want to leave an empty room or mute an unbearably repetitive noise.
I never wanted to kill myself. I just wanted to be dead. I wanted to stop. Everything. I pushed everyone away so I could tell myself it would be all right to kill myself, because no-one cared any way. And ironically, it was the fact my parents were visiting that made me not do it. I didn't want to spoil their first trip overseas together.
Yeah. Depressed brains totally make no sense.
It tookdexfarkin basically threatening to hate me forever if I did something stupid that got me to the doctor and the meds which, frankly, saved my life. They lifted the blanket long enough for some light to creep back in, and gave me perspective again.
These days, I'm mostly doing better. I have bad times, usually when I'm having PMS and it feels like everything is likely to make me feel like crap and that I can't do anything right. I have moments where I just wish I could stay in bed with the blankets pulled over my head and disappear forever - at the same time all I want is for someone to notice I'm not doing so well and take care of me and let me cuddle with them on the sofa. I have little to no interest in sex for about three years now. I over-compensate sometimes, trying to be the life of the group, to somehow make up for the fact I was such an enormous downer. That usually results in being an arse. *sighs* I have trouble getting enthusiastic for the things that used to excite me, much like Allie's metaphor of a child outgrowing their toys: school is the first thing in three years I've been excited about for an extended time, and I'm clinging to that while I have it. Things are getting better, step by step.
Normally I'd hide this behind a filter, mostly so I don't bore people. Not this time, tho'. Perhaps I'm just looking for attention. Who knows.
- Help Wanted Again
- deathpixie
- 24th April 2013
I have another talk, this one without powerpoint and with a strict 3-4 minute time limit and with the requirement I do research/cite sources. So something a little less light-hearted and more social education-y, I think. Or at least something serious I can get animated about. Any way, I need a topic asap for the talk on Monday and I'm stuck. Those who know me and what I'm into, any suggestions?
- Doing the victory dance...
- deathpixie
- 22nd April 2013
Apologies for the multiple posting in various social network platforms, but I have people scattered all over the place. At least I'm going to the trouble of actually writing three different things? ;)
Any way, we started our third module - Communications in Law - tonight, which meant we finally got our results for Module 1 - Legal Computer Programs. That's the one where we did the Word and Powerpoint stuff, and the one where I did the talk on Deadly Australians for the Powerpoint evaluation. Any way, I got 100% for that module, even with the over-long Powerpoint talk.
So good start with the Dean's List aspirations. I'm feeling rather chuffed with myself, I have to admit. :)
- RIP
- deathpixie
- 22nd April 2013
Divinyls Singer Chrissie Amphlett has died.
The linked article is a very good one from the ABC news site.
I remember seeing the Divinyls for the first time on Countdown and being wowed by Chrissie's energy and passion, even as a 12 year old. And contrary to what the news sites might tell you, they had several hits other than "I Touch Myself". This one's one of my favourites:
- Argh.
- deathpixie
- 16th April 2013
Oh for the love of gods, please stop running, nose, it's been going on for three weeks and I'm running out of bodily fluid for you to dribble...
Yeah, still got a runny nose from the cold/flu/whatever of a couple of weeks ago. The rest of me is fine, except I'm tired of wiping my nose. And my nose is tired of being wiped, too - it's red raw and I think I'm brewing the third or fourth coldsore since it began. :(
Otherwise, I'm good. School's good, work's busy and spring is slowly creeping in.
- MIA: Spring
- deathpixie
- 10th April 2013
So we're into the second week of April and spring is playing peek-a-boo with us in a big day. Some days have been lovely - sunny, warm (for values of 'warm' - I'm at the point where I consider 10-12 C 'warm'), and that particular earthy smell that tells you spring is coming. Then we get pouring rain, single-digit temperatures and everything goes into hiding again. Best of all, we still have one more winter storm to go - tomorrow's forecast is for freezing rain and ice pellets and a top of zero Celsius. My evening class teacher is considering cancelling tomorrow night for safe travelling's sake.
School is going well. I don't have the exact marks for my first module (Legal Computer Applications - basically Word and Powerpoint), but I'm fairly sure it's close to 100%. The only thing that might have knocked me back was going over my alloted time for my talk (by about double - curse you, Australia, for being full of things that are trying to kill us!), but I did show off appropriate Powerpoint skills, so, fingers crossed. The next module is "Introduction to Legal Studies", which is a look at what law is and how we got it. Fairly basic stuff, with a quiz, an assignment and an exam, whee! The work's pretty easy so far, although I'm noticing the hours this week - partly due to the fact that I'm still sick with the thing I caught before Easter. Hopefully I can shake it off soon so I can get some energy back!
Work is mostly okay, apart from a lovely bit of news yesterday. Because the government is cutting back public service workers (the OPESU) to the tune of 900-odd in Ontario, the various ministries are currently "surplussing" people. Which means you get told your job no longer exists and you have a couple of weeks to work out what you want to do before the official lay-off notice comes. We're losing J., the executive assistant to our director - the whole thing came totally out of the blue. And because her position is now 'surplus' to the Ministry, her work will be redistributed - technically to the director's other assistant in his other Ministry (he wears two hats), but considering a lot of it is specfic to what we do (various reports and such), I have a feeling it will end up bouncing back on us despite assurances.
This whole surplussing thing is discomforting. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm safe - I've been there for almost 7 years now, I'm fairly indispensible, my lawyers would cause a riot if I was let go and we've already established my 'back-up' can't do the job when I'm on vacation, let alone take it over full-time. But it's just nerve-wracking any way. And this isn't the only round of lay-offs, either - it's just the first blood-letting.
Blargh.
Any way, things are generally okay. Just having a long, tired day so I'm a tad meh. But I really am enjoying school, so much. It's great to be learning again, and I'm already chummy with my desk mate, a woman around the same age who currently works as a probation officer.
- Bother.
- deathpixie
- 28th March 2013
So, after a winter of only one bout of the 'flu, I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat, stuff nose and the feeling someone had poured ground glass into my joints. And you know you're getting sick when symptoms pop up in your dreams. So yeah, looks like I'm coming down with a dose of the spring snuffles. Still, timing isn't so bad - I only need to get through today and I have three days to get over the worst of it, no work on Monday and classes Monday evening.
And yes, I'll tell you all about school once I'm through the first week. It's a wee bit tiring. Awesome, but tiring.
- Homework
- deathpixie
- 27th March 2013
So, I have to do a 5 minute Powerpoint presentation for school on Thursday and I need the help of my non-Aussie friends. Common perceptions/impressions/myths you have or have heard about Australia and Australians - GO!
- Random Meme-ness
- deathpixie
- 23rd March 2013
For want of actual content, have a meme. ;) Grabbed from someone's Tumblr post.
( Cut for a big-ass list.Collapse )
- The worst they can say is no.
- deathpixie
- 7th March 2013
Interesting thoughts on asking for things by writer C.E. Murphy. Warning for Amanda Palmer. ;)
For me, asking is always fraught with peril. Because I tend to take "no" as a value judgement of myself - people don't want to help with whatever because they don't like me. And sometimes (perhaps not as often as it feels like), I do ask and am answered with silence, or promises to do something that turn up empty, and I feel like I've put people in a position where they don't want to have to say "no", even though they really wanted to. So yeah, asking is incredibly hard for me.
And yet... for the really important things, the things that matter, I've had more "yes" responses that have been followed through. Something to remind Captain Paranoia of, next time I have to ask for something.
Originally posted bymizkit at The worst they can say is no.I have no idea when my mother first told me, “You can ask. The worst they can say is no,” but it was certainly long enough ago that it’s become an irrevocable part of my attitude toward life: Always let the other guy say no.
You would be *amazed* how much you can achieve by asking.
Which brings me immediately into Amanda Palmer’s TED Talk:
Watch it if you haven’t already, because it’s fairly inspiring, albeit in a “very few people are that brave” way. Amanda Palmer is a master at self-promotion and personal connections, and I’d love to have a tenth of her skill (debate: is it *possible* for a writer to build an audience the way Amanda’s done? Well, I guess so, I mean, giving it away worked for Scalzi and Cory Doctorow, though not quite in the get-out-and-meet-people way that AFP has done…), but for me one of the huge takeaways of her talk is a subtext of always let the other guy say no.
Amanda takes that to an art level (rather literally). She talks a lot about trust in her talk, and I think that’s part of letting the other guy say no. Maybe not even so much trusting *them*, but trusting yourself to ask, and to be able to deliver the goods if the answer is yes.
Because don’t get me wrong: asking is scary. It can be a real ego thing. If you ask and are denied, wow, does that mean they don’t love you? That they’re not interested? That you’re a FAILURE? That you will NEVER SUCCEED on the terms you hope to? Or if you ask and you don’t succeed BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS, does that mean you’re a failure, etc, etc etc?
Really, most of the time? No, it doesn’t mean that at all. Most of the time it means you’ve asked the wrong question of the wrong person or at the wrong time. Case in point: my own Kickstarter had about 500 backers. I have access to, say, 3000 or so distinct individual readers. I asked all those people to throw into the hat, and about a sixth of them responded. I just went and checked: Amanda Palmer’s got 800K followers on Twitter right now. 25K of them supported *her* Kickstarter. That’s a hell of a lot less than a sixth of them. For the rest, my takeaway is that it was the wrong time, the wrong project, the wrong request. One or many of those. (Know why I supported her Kickstarter? Because the video for it was worth five dollars to me. It was charming, delightful, sweet, and wonderful. I haven’t listened to the album. I probably won’t. But in the end, the manner of asking pleased me so greatly that I was happy to help out a little.)
Publishing works this way too. You query, you revise, you ask again and again. You get a lot of rejections. But if you don’t keep asking, you’ll never get to the one person who’s going to say yes, and so you just have to keep letting the other guy say no.
Life works this way. I really believe that. I don’t know if AFP thinks it in so many words, but I’m guessing it’s part of how she works, too. She is hoping–trusting–that if she asks, people will say yes. That they will find a way to respond positively.
An anecdote: when I was in high school, a friend and I wanted to cut class for some reason, and went to ask the teacher if we could do so. On the way, my friend remembered that we had a substitute that day, and said we were never going to be let out of class. “Oh,” I said airily, “that substitute likes me. She’ll let us out.”
My friend stopped dead and snarled, “Jesus, Catie, you think everybody likes you.”
Nigh unto a quarter century later and I’m still bemused by that. Well. Yes. As a rule, I do think everybody likes me, or that they *will* like me if they get to know me, because why wouldn’t they? *I* like me, after all, and I have to live with me all the time, so surely if you have a shorter window of exposure in which I can potentially annoy you, you’ll probably like me too. I mean, I’m aware there are people who *don’t* like me, and that’s all right too, but by and large? Yes. I assume people will and do like me. I expect the best of asking.
If you expect the world to be a positive place, it is far more likely to be a positive place. So go ahead and ask. The worst they can say is no.
(x-posted from The Essential Kit)
- From one extreme to the other
- deathpixie
- 8th February 2013
- sleepy
So, here I am in Sydney Airport. The predicted temperature is 39 C. Back in Toronto, they're being buried in snow.
This should prove interesting. Especially since I didn't pack my boots. Hmm.
Great holiday, btw. Caught up with the family, spoiled my nieces rotten and had a great send-off BBQ last night. Love you lot so much.
- Success!
- deathpixie
- 29th January 2013
I have arrived at my parent's new place in Wodonga, I have successfully bribed my nieces with belated Christmas and birthday gifts, and, most of all, I have gotten online with my own laptop! The password took some finding, but finally got there. Yay for me.
The weather is glorious today. Not too hot, wonderfully sunny, and I'm sitting out on the patio with a cup of tea by my side and a protein shakey thing in my belly. Today is a quiet day - I've been on the go since I got here and my voice is starting to fail. Sydney with the Aussie crew was fantastic, and mum and dad are more than okay, they're doing so much better in the new place, it's great to see.
Also, trampolines are a hell of a workout when you haven't used one for 20 years. My back is rather cranky today. But at least Zoe has a new game to play on it. :)
- Got my travelling shoes on again
- deathpixie
- 24th January 2013
Heading to the airport shortly for a 2 week visit with the family in Aussie-land. I'll see you all in a bit. :)
- X-Project: An X-Men Movieverse RPG on Livejournal
- deathpixie
- 17th January 2013
Originally posted byx_advertising at X-Project: An X-Men Movieverse RPG on LivejournalX-PROJECT: AN X-MEN MOVIEVERSE RPG 
Name: NADIA SIDAROVA aka DOMINO
Date of Birth: Unknown
Powers: Probability manipulation.
Status: POTENTIAL X-MAN - AVAILABLE FOR APPLICATIONS.
Domino Discovered by Nathan Dayspring and G.W. Bridge in the fighting pits of Hong Kong as a teenaged girl, Domino became a mercenary and a member of the Pack, despite Nathan and G.W.'s encouragement to do something less dangerous. Her 'luck powers', a combination of mild reality warping and slight precognition, stood her in good stead and over the years she has become family to Nathan and occasionally an injection of logic in the face of his angsting. Currently she works for Elpis at the Tel Aviv office and maintains a relationship with Pete Wisdom.
X-Project is an X-Men movieverse RPG on Livejournal. Set after X2, we've been running since May 2003 and use a combination of in-character journals and email/IM logs. There's a number of settings for a range of play, whatever your preference, and while we accept new characters we strongly encourage people to adopt one of our orphans.
Check out the Wiki and the advertising community to see what's available. Readers are highly encouraged! If you're looking for X-Men based entertainment, X-Project welcomes you to read along and enjoy the ride!Rules | Application | Available Characters | Game Wiki | Read The Game | FAQ|Contact Us | Follow Us on Twitter! | YouTube Channel
- Well, that snuck up on me
- deathpixie
- 17th January 2013
I looked at the calendar today and realised in exactly one week, I board a plane to go back to Australia for two weeks' visit.
That really snuck up on me. I have Things I need to do. Like get a hair cut.
- Neil Gaiman's (and My) New Year's Wish...
- deathpixie
- 2nd January 2013
I want to be able to do this, this year. No more being worried about what might happen or if I might get hurt. Time to be brave and to find joy.
Originally posted by
officialgaiman at My New Year's Wish...http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/12/my-n
ew-years-wish.html posted by NeilIt's a New Year and with it comes a fresh opportunity to shape our world.So this is my wish, a wish for me as much as it is a wish for you: in the world to come, let us be brave – let us walk into the dark without fear, and step into the unknown with smiles on our faces, even if we're faking them.And whatever happens to us, whatever we make, whatever we learn, let us take joy in it. We can find joy in the world if it's joy we're looking for, we can take joy in the act of creation.So that is my wish for you, and for me. Bravery and joy....Fifteen minutes ago I was terrified, having just written this, and about to walk up onto the stage to perform the Fireball XL5 theme song with Amanda and the Grand Theft Orchestra. And I thought "You just wrote a New Year's wish. Listen to yourself. Put it into practice." I went out bravely. I sang in front of a thousand or so people with joy.And you know, it was wonderful.
(for a collection of the previous New Year's Wishes: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2011/12/my-new-year-wish.html) 
- Sad news for Dexconners
- deathpixie
- 29th December 2012
Talking with Benway last night, we got the news that Elena Zavotto had passed away in February 2012. It was suddenly, at home - reading the comments, it appears to have been connected to fainting spells she'd been having.
I thought I'd let people know. We'd lost contact over the past year or so, but I remember always enjoying our talks at Dexcon, and the exchanging of karate nerdiness as we both trained in the same style.
RIP, Elena.
- I have news!
- deathpixie
- 6th December 2012
- giddy
And it's news of the good sort, even. :)
As some of you might have noticed, a few weeks ago I mentioned I was scoping out potential night classes to get my paralegal qualification. Well, I found one that suited me and on Tuesday I signed up. Do, as of March next year, I'll be a student again!
The school is in the Eaton Centre, which is about 10 minutes away from work, and the classes run Monday to Thursday, 6:00 - 11:00 p.m. So yeah, I'll be a bit more scarce than I usually am, and certainly a bit more distracted, but it's all in a good cause. :) The course runs for a year, with two breaks, one in the summer and one next winter, and after that, I take the Law Society exam and qualify as a shiny new mini-lawyer. :)
I'm outrageously excited about all this. It's really the first big proactive, positive thing I've done since I made the decision to move to Canada, and I feel so good about it. It's me finally doing something constructive for my career, which has always taken a back seat to everything else, and I'm confident that I'll do well. And of course, none of this would be possible withoutferox helping me out with a loan, which means I don't have the usual financial anxiety which usually squashes my mood when I make a big, expensive decision (like travelling). I'll never be able to thank her enough. <3
And an added perk is that since I'll technically be a full time student, I get the student discounts on metro passes and such. So the money I'm saving can go towards paying off my debt. :) And I'll be going out into the world more and meeting new people, which is something I've been needing to do for a while, but needed a framework within which to do it. School is perfect. :)
I'm so chuffed about all of this. And wildly excited. I never thought, with the depression and the meds, that I'd actually feel this good about something again, which is why the extended squeeing I've been doing. (Sorry!)
It's so great to have something to look forward to again!
- Valentin and The Widow
- deathpixie
- 30th November 2012
Originally posted byalasdair at Valentin and The WidowI’m not burying this in a linkpost. It’s too good for that.
A few years ago, for NaNoWriMo, my friend Andrew Wheeler began a pulp serial called Valentin and the Widow. I recall reading the opening chapters of it with great fondness, and I have been waiting with some eagerness ever since for him finish polishing it to the standard he wanted before he let it out into the world.
Well, he’s done it now. The first instalment of his podcast is live now – seventy minutes of pulp fun that will appear to anyone who likes a good story. I’ll shut up now, and let Andrew describe it to you.
It’s a globe-trotting 1920s adventure about plucky English aristocrat Eleanora Rosewood, brawny Russian sailor Sacha Valentin, and their fight against a secret organisation that seeks to oppress the weak and destroy the different.
Courageous women!
Sexy men!
Wicked villains!
Exotic locations!
Diabolical schemes!
Cups of tea!
And great big fights!I cannot recommend this to you highly enough. Click the picture below to find out more, and about how to listen to it.
Originally posted at Black Ink.
- Short Story Recommendation
- deathpixie
- 28th November 2012
I loveursulav's writing. And this is just wonderful and all too close to home.
The Glass Mountain and the Sensible Child
- Something for me to play with tomorrow...
- deathpixie
- 24th November 2012
- Decisions, decisions...
- deathpixie
- 14th November 2012
So, there's a short story competition I'd like to enter (closing date in December), and I'm trying to decide what to submit. I can only submit one thing, you see. Minimum of 2,000 words. So, I've been reading through my various bits and pieces, trying to decide what I can polish up and use.
Of course, I can't make up my mind. So, it's poll time! Only, my account's expired and I'm disinclined, with the various changes LJ has been making lately, to actually pay for it, so it'll be a comment poll.
I've narrowed it down to five stories, the ones I think have the most potential. If folks could click the links and read them and let me know which one they think would be best to submit in the comments, I'd be grateful. :)
1) Glory Box
2) Identity Crisis
3) The Princess Scam
4) Breaking News
5) Hunger Pangs
Or, I could get inspiration and write something new. Although, given how uninspired and not-creative I've been feeling lately, I'd rather not rely on that. Any way, be a mate and give an opinion?
Ta. :)
- Fandom: Second verse, same as the first verse...
- deathpixie
- 13th November 2012
I don't talk about fandom stuff much here anymore, for no reason in particular other than I don't usually have much to say. But I've been reading a lot of Twitter, especially through the @xprojectrpg account, which has a lot of comics industry types friended (as a "here's some interesting links on the things we like" kind of thing) and I get to read a lot about what's going on.
Any way, back in July, there was a kerfuffle about an article for CNN, complaining about the 'fake geek girl' phenomenon at conventions. From what I understand, there are some male fans who have issues with women in cosplay who "don't know anything about geekdom" and who take advantage of poor defenceless male nerds. How they take advantage, I'm not exactly sure, since it's not like they're marrying these guys for their money and there aren't reports of these women hurling themselves bodily on these poor guys and molesting them or taking their wallets.
There was a lot of back and forth, and John Scalzi was awesome and eventually the whole thing simmered down.
(Note: Unlike just about every other article anywhere, I highly recommend reading the comments on Scalzi articles for intelligent and engaging debate that's correctly spelled and grammatical)
Of course, nothing stays dead in fandom long, and this morning brought a wonderfully vomitous (and slightly incoherent) piece where Tony Harris, comics artist, pretty much spouts the same argument, only with more douche. (the original post is on FB, which is tricky to get to from work, so I'm linking a repost. Also, I don't like adding to page views for douches). The truly awesome thing about Harris' post (apart from the fact it's barely legible), is that he spews his hatred not just at the evil conniving vixens who dress up as characters they don't know, spending huge amounts of money on the costume, Con fees, accommodation and travel, JUST TO GET ATTENTION!!!, but also at the sad, awkward and terminally-virginal nerdboys who will never have a shot with these, or any other women and thus are eternally tormented by their permanent boners of frustrated desire.
Wow, way to show your contempt for your audience there, Tony.
There's been a lot of response to this, on Twitter and on Tumblr (which I don't have, I've just been following Tweeted links), but my favourite is this: @geekgirldiva's epic smackdown of Harris on her Tumblr.
Any way, my response is to this, as it was to Joe Peacock's rant last time, is, if you have issues with these faks geekgirls apparently just out for attention and free drinks, then stop paying attention to them and buying them drinks. That goes to anyone who bitches about this. Stop asking them for photo opportunities, stop gawking at them, stop buying them meals and drinks. Just. STOP. If their intention is to get attention and a free ride, then cut that off at the knees and take away their reason for being there. If they're so contemptuous of fandom and they're spending all this money to stand in a corner being treated like everyone else, then they'll pretty much stop, right? If your logic is correct and that's what they're there for.
Otherwise, how about accepting that PEOPLE do things for all sorts of reasons, and unless you develop telepathy or - god forbid - actually have a conversation with them about why they're there and what they're doing, you don't get to assume motivation.
- Still Alive!
- deathpixie
- 13th November 2012
Yep, survived the death cold from hell. Seriously, it was a nasty one. I still have a cough and a runny nose, but I'm not longer as deathly as I was.
Of course, I wound up having to reschedule a couple of my interviews for the paralegal course - fate likes to kick me in the face like that. Decide to be proactive, have something happen that makes it impossible to follow-through straight away. *rolls eyes* Any way, one is rescheduled for this Saturday, I have one on the 20th and one on the 26th and one more to reschedule.
Amazingly, work did not explode while I was gone. There was a bunch of emails to go through and my filing is in serious backlog mode, but otherwise, things are pretty stable. Hooray. And my croaked, 'sounds like hell' voicemail obviously worked, since I had no messages to respond to. ;)
Any way, yep, I'm back in the land of the living and trying to get stuff done. This is good, since I've spent a week pretty much inactive. Who'd have thought lying on the couch watching TV would get boring? ;)
- Kickstart
- deathpixie
- 7th November 2012
- sick
No, not an actual Kickstarter program, but I've finally stopped saying "I'm going to" and actually started doing something. A while ago I might have mentioned doing a paralegal course as a way of increasing my skills and marketability (and pay bracket!) - this week I finally got around to looking up courses and making enquiries. I have an information session at one tomorrow, another on Saturday and then two more the week after. All are accredited with the Law Society and will prepare me to take the accreditation exam required to be able to practice.
None of this would be possible without an offer of a loan fromferox, and I have no way to ever thank her enough for it. Cost is another thing I'll be asking questions about, as well as prior learning, the ability to study part time/in the evenings and credit for work experience (there's a section on Consumer Law, which made me laugh so much. I think I can ace that one already!). Once I get the info, I'll need to sit down with my advisers (otherwise known as my roomies!) and work out the best option.
So yeah, that's me doing something proactive in my life for the first time since I had to stop therapy. I'm just so tired of the monotony of work, the pressure of living paycheck to paycheck and going into debt every time I do anything fun and, to be honest, I'm tired of where I am. I'm at the top of my pay grade as an assistant and there's not really a lot of options for me as I am. Getting qualified as a paralegal extends those options.
Of course, I'd be happier about all this if I wasn't in the middle of the insane headcold from hell. The bronchitis seems to have eased off, only to be replaced by head congestion and a sore throat. And since I've taken 3 days off sick last week, I just have to soldier through it. Ah well. Aloe vera tissues and some cold meds at lunchtime.
Finally, I've been amusing myself with my Twitter feed this morning. Especially the Romney supporters threatening to move to Australia because of our Christian, male President. As per a comment I saw - this is what you get when you pay more attention in church than you do in school.
- I'm onna train!
- deathpixie
- 21st October 2012
On my way to Ottawa for my two-day escape. As some of you may remember, last year I won a raffle prize of two nights' accommodation in any Delta hotel in Canada. I had to use it before October 31, 2012, so when I realised the year had crept up on me, I made hurried plans to go to Ottawa, which is far enough away (four hours by train) to rate as Away, but close enough that only taking a couple of days wouldn't be a waste. I plan to relax, wander around, take photos, relax some more and basically scope the place out for a future, longer trip, perhaps in February when the winter festival is on and there's ice skating on the canal.
And since the train has wi-fi and I'm done sleeping and have an hour to go, here I am, updating things. Email might have to wait until this evening, since the wi-fi is a bit slow, but it is nice to be able to putter away on the laptop and not worry about Lawyer A calling me to ask me to do something every five minutes (as happens at work), or interrupting myself to unpack suff (as happens at home).
A good start to a couple of days of 'me' time.
- Dept. of I Love The Internet
- deathpixie
- 17th October 2012
Gotta love the speed of internet humour...
Originally posted bykaffyr at Dept. of I Love The InternetPublic Service Announcement
Because I care.
Thank you. Goodnight America, and all the ships at sea.
This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/236284.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.
- Signal Boost: I need help.
- deathpixie
- 11th October 2012
Originally posted bylheena at I need help.
This is my cat.
His name is Bart. He's named after the Flash. He's the smartest cat I've ever had; he knows how to play fetch and loves it (with hair ties!) He talks back when I tell him to get off things. He was the runt of his litter, and I've had him since he could fit in a teacup, four and a half years ago. He's always been curious, and I think it may be why he ended up eating something he shouldn't.
Bart's in the hospital as of today, because he hasn't eaten anything in four days. I took him in Monday, and they gave him fluids and a shot of anti-nausea meds, but they admitted him tonight. Already, the bill's approaching $1000 - and he's likely to need surgery, which is going to add on another $2500 to the bill, and that's not including the hospital stay. I've always tried to help out people when I can; if I have and someone else needs, it's better to help and just tell them to pay it forward. I'd rather someone help someone else, than pay me back. But right now, I need help. First, and the most important thing: If you need some sort of graphic or webdesign work, I'm a professional web designer. I've been doing it in some form for nearly a decade. I do business cards, websites, email, logos, resumes, stationary, you name it. Please, if you have any work you need, I'll do it. I'm desperate. I'm calling my student loan company in the morning and begging them to refund what I've paid them and put my loans in deferment so I can pay for this.
Second - I need help. If you don't have work, but you do what I do (helping those in need, and either would like to be repaid OR want it just paid forward), I'm seriously asking. I'm terrified, and he's still a baby to me - he's only four and a half, and he's so full of life and loves everybody.
So, yeah. Please, please, consider either hiring me, or if you have it in your heart and money to spare, donating. I will either pay you back (if you want!) or pay it forward. I promise. If you are possibly okay with donating, my address is asoehnlen@gmail.com with both Amazon Payments and paypal, and let me know if you'd like me not to pay you back. If you are potentially looking to hire, message me and I'll send you my portfolio website, and believe me, you'll get a deal of a lifetime.
Thanks again,
Amanda
